Longing chanes me
Longing chanes me. I didn't understand this sentence the first time I read it, but I do now. I was drunk with freedom and didn't remember what it felt to love and be loved. I'd forgotten how it feels to be missing someone all the time that person is elsewhere but where you are. I'd forgotten what fear for losing someone feels like. I couldn't recall all the thinking love comes with, or how confusing it can be. How much trust it needs. All the understanding it requires.
Shit, I liked my freedom. I'd learnt to like asking food for one, I'd learnt to enjoy going to bed alone every night, I had learned to pity all the arguing couples on the streets. I liked to take care of myself. I liked not worrying like this. I liked the fact that I had forgotten what heartache feels like. Heartache like this one I'm having now. Yes, longing chanes me.
